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Introduction

  • A. Your marriage is your most vital human relationship.
  • B. It is impossible to (completely and successfully) compartmentalize this relationship.

1. Set Realistic Expectations With Your Wife.

  • What is a pastor’s wife?
  • Scripture: Titus 1:6—the husband of one wife.
  • The Mother
  • The First Lady
  • The Co-Pastor
  • The Women’s Pastor
  • The Homemaker
  • The Passionate, Gifted, and Called Woman of God

2. Develop a Vision for Your Marriage With Your Wife.

  • A. The importance of vision in any endeavor
  • B. What is the biblical vision for marriage?
    • Genesis 2:18—Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
    • Our vision statement: In our marriage, we want to glorify God, form a deep community, and help the other person.
  • C. Some Practices That Flow From This Vision
    • Glorify God:
      • We encourage each other to prioritize our devotional lives.
      • We pursue godly activities together.
    • Form a Deep Community:
      • We prioritize friendship.
      • We emphasize romance.
    • Help the Other Person:
      • We support each other’s ministries.
      • We communicate about and embrace our roles.

3. Servant-Lead Your Household Well.

  • A. It is important for a pastor to lead within his home.
    • Scripture: 1 Timothy 3:4–5—He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?
    • You are to consider, or manage, your family at every stage and season. You pray for the church, considering the different stages of its development. You manage there, guiding the flock. The same must be true for your family. Consider where they are at and how to serve them.
  • B. How Servant-Leadership in the Home Will Impact the Church:
    • If a pastor considers his wife’s perspective, he will do this in the church.
    • If a pastor considers his strengths and weaknesses in the home, he will do this in the church.
    • If a pastor considers the feelings of his family members, he will do this in the church.
    • If a pastor pursues his children, he will pursue the people he is called to in the church.
  • C. Do not view your home as your vacation.

4. Honor Your Wife as Church Member 001.

  • She will always be a member of the church you serve.
  • She cannot choose another pastor or church.
  • She will listen to all your sermons.
  • She is privy to your actual (not perceived) growth over time.
  • She will always be on your “team.”

5. Love Your Wife.

  • Scripture: Ephesians 5:25—Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…
  • A. Some Suggestions on Loving Your Wife:
    • Be open-hearted with her.
    • Do not become self-absorbed.
    • Give her your time.
    • Date her.
    • Clarify expectations about her to the church.
    • Encourage her in her gifts.
    • Praise her privately and publicly.