Imagine that someone hands you a beautifully wrapped gift. Before you ever open it, the occasion, the person who gave it, and the way it is wrapped have already begun shaping your expectations. It is a decent size. Someone took time with it. It looks impressive—maybe even expensive.

The packaging has given you some real information, but not enough to know what is inside. Even so, your mind begins filling in what you do not know.

That is how expectations form. We combine what we know with what we assume we know, and sometimes we lose track of where our knowledge ends and our assumptions begin.

We do this with God, too. We take something we know He has said and fill in the rest ourselves: This is when He should do it. Here is how He should do it. And this is what it should look like. But what happens when God does not fit our expectations—or when He does not explain why?

Think about something you expected from God. Not merely something you wished for, but something you were sure He would do. He promised it, so you were convinced. Yet He still has not done it, or He has not done it the way you thought He would.

You may have stayed faithful. You have not given up on Him. But some troubling questions have surfaced, and those questions often begin with a statement: “I thought…”

I thought You would have answered by now.

I thought that if I obeyed You, this would have worked out differently.

I thought You would have protected me from this.

I thought following Jesus would make this easier, not harder.

I thought You would have done something.

Those “I thought” moments do more than leave us disappointed with God. They can make us uncertain about Him. Behind them is a question nobody wants to ask: When You do not fit my expectations, are You really who I thought You were—or have I been wrong about You this whole time?

John the Baptizer asked Jesus that question from a prison cell.

John’s Unanswered Question

When Matthew first introduces John, he is in the Judean wilderness calling people to repent and preparing them for the Messiah—the One God had promised to send to rescue His people. Crowds go out to hear him, confess their sins, and be baptized.

John is a rugged prophet who looks as though he belongs in the wilderness. He wears clothes made from camel’s hair, eats locusts and wild honey, lives a stripped-down and disciplined life, and preaches with conviction. Yet as popular as John becomes, he makes it clear that he is not the promised One:

“Someone is coming soon who is greater than I am—so much greater that I’m not worthy even to be his slave and carry his sandals.”

— Matthew 3:11 (NLT)

John believed Jesus was that One. But John also had definite expectations about what the Messiah would do. The Old Testament prophets said the Messiah would come to judge, so that is what John preached. He pictured the axe of God’s judgment positioned at the root of the trees, ready to strike. He compared the Messiah’s judgment to a harvest in which the good wheat would be gathered and the worthless chaff burned with unquenchable fire.

By Matthew 11, Jesus’ ministry is well underway. Jesus is traveling from town to town, teaching and preaching, while John is in prison because he confronted Herod for marrying his brother’s wife. Even there, John continues listening for every report about Jesus. This is the Messiah he spent his ministry preparing people to receive, so he is paying close attention to what Jesus is doing.

John the Baptist, who was in prison, heard about all the things the Messiah was doing. So he sent his disciples to ask Jesus, “Are you the Messiah we’ve been expecting, or should we keep looking for someone else?”

— Matthew 11:2–3 (NLT)

John did not merely have a wish. He had read the Scriptures, knew the Messiah would bring judgment, and believed Jesus was the Messiah. But he combined what God had revealed with an assumption: If the Messiah is here now, judgment should be happening now. Expectation formed.

What John heard about Jesus did not fit that expectation. In effect, his question was: Jesus, You are not doing what I expected the Messiah to do. I thought You would strike with the axe, burn the chaff, and bring judgment. But that is not what I am hearing. Are You really the One, or have I been wrong about who You are?

John sent an honest question to Jesus rather than allowing his expectations to answer it for him. Jesus’ response shows us how to do the same.

Let Jesus’ Works Remind You Who He Is

Jesus replied with a list:

Jesus told them, “Go back to John and tell him what you have heard and seen—the blind see, the lame walk, those with leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised to life, and the Good News is being preached to the poor.”

— Matthew 11:4–5 (NLT)

This was not a random list of miracles. About seven hundred years earlier, Isaiah had described the saving works that would mark the Messiah’s ministry. Across several prophecies, Isaiah spoke of the blind seeing, the deaf hearing, the lame walking, the dead rising, and good news being preached. Those were the very works John was now hearing about from prison.

John had built his ministry on the prophets, so he would have recognized the passages Jesus had in mind. God had described these works ahead of time so that when the Messiah came, people—including John—could recognize Him.

Jesus was not avoiding John’s question. He was answering it directly: John, you are wondering whether I am the Messiah you have been expecting. Look at the evidence. Compare what you are hearing about Me with the saving works God promised through Isaiah.

In other words, My works tell you who I am.

Yet Jesus gave John no explanation for what still did not fit. He did not explain why judgment had not come, why Herod remained in power, or why John remained in prison. He confirmed who He was without answering every question about what He was doing.

Then Jesus added a blessing that also carried a gentle warning:

“God blesses those who do not fall away because of me.”

— Matthew 11:6 (NLT)

It is not wrong to have expectations, hopes, or desires. That is part of being human. But when Jesus does not fit our expectations, disappointment can turn into uncertainty about who He is.

Remember the last time you expected God to answer and He did not answer the way you expected. Or the time you expected Him to act and nothing changed. Perhaps He never explained why things did not turn out the way you thought they would. Were you disappointed? Did your disappointment become doubt? Did you begin pulling away from Him?

That is the danger Jesus warns about. We can become so consumed by what Jesus has not done that our unmet expectations distort the way we see Him. We lose sight of the saving work He is doing, and it becomes harder to see Him as great and beautiful.

Nothing about John’s immediate circumstances changed. John remained in prison. Herod remained in power. Judgment still had not come. Matthew leaves John in that cell, and when he returns to John’s story in chapter 14, Herod has him beheaded.

John died without receiving a full explanation for the tension that prompted his question. Jesus confirmed that He was the Messiah, but He never explained why He was not acting as John expected.

Some of us are living with that same kind of incomplete resolution. We are waiting, hoping, and praying, but it is possible that some questions will remain unanswered in this life. The issue is not whether we will have questions. The issue is what we will allow those questions to tell us about Jesus.

How should we respond when Jesus doesn’t fit our expectations?

Let His works remind you who He is.

Jesus answered John’s uncertainty by pointing him to the miracles. We have been given even greater evidence than John had, because we can look back on the saving work he never lived to see: Jesus’ death and resurrection.

Do not let what Jesus has not explained distort what He has already made clear about Himself. His death and resurrection tell you that He is loving, powerful, and good—even when your circumstances make those truths difficult to see.

That is the person Jesus calls blessed: not the person who receives every answer, but the person who refuses to let unanswered questions pull them away from Him.

Let God’s Promises Confirm Who He Is

The exchange about Jesus’ identity was apparently not private. Matthew writes:

As John’s disciples were leaving, Jesus began talking about him to the crowds.

— Matthew 11:7 (NLT)

These were people who had walked into the wilderness to hear John. They trusted him, so they trusted what he had told them about Jesus. But now, in front of them, John’s disciples had asked Jesus—on John’s behalf—whether He really was the One. If John was unsure, should they be unsure too?

Jesus wanted the crowd to remember why they had gone out of their way to see and hear John. In verses 7–10, He gave them three reasons John’s question should not shake their confidence in either John or his ministry:

7b “What kind of man did you go into the wilderness to see? Was he a weak reed, swayed by every breath of wind? 8 Or were you expecting to see a man dressed in expensive clothes? No, people with expensive clothes live in palaces. 9 Were you looking for a prophet? Yes, and he is more than a prophet. 10 John is the man to whom the Scriptures refer when they say, ‘Look, I am sending my messenger ahead of You, and he will prepare Your way before you.’

— Matthew 11:7b–10 (NLT)

First, Jesus reminded them of John’s strong convictions. A genuine question did not mean John had become the kind of man who changed direction whenever circumstances became difficult. He was not weak or fickle like a reed blown back and forth by the wind.

Second, Jesus reminded them of John’s rugged faithfulness. The fact that John sat in Herod’s prison instead of enjoying Herod’s palace showed that he valued faithfulness to God over comfort, luxury, or favor with a king.

Third, Jesus reminded them that they had recognized John as a prophet sent by God. Then Jesus moved beyond what they believed about John to what God had promised about him through the prophet Malachi: John was more than a prophet; he was the messenger sent ahead of the Messiah.

That changed everything. What the crowd believed about John could be shaken. What God’s Word said about him could not.

Jesus then made three more revealing statements about John—about his position among the prophets, his position in history, and his position in prophecy. Taken together, they point beyond John to something much bigger.

John’s Position Among the Prophets

Jesus called John the greatest:

11 “I tell you the truth, of all who have ever lived, none is greater than John the Baptist. Yet even the least person in the Kingdom of Heaven is greater than he is!

— Matthew 11:11 (NLT)

Jesus was not saying John was morally better than everyone who came before him. He was recognizing the privileged position God had given John in His plan. John was chosen to make the final preparations immediately before the Messiah arrived. That is what made him the greatest.

Then Jesus said something surprising: although no one had been given a greater position than John, even the least person in the kingdom was greater than he was. Picture John standing in the doorway to the kingdom at the moment centuries of waiting ended, announcing, “The Messiah is here.” Even the smallest, least impressive person who went through that door into the kingdom would occupy a more privileged position than John, who stood at its entrance.

John’s Pivotal Place in History

John stood at the point where two eras met:

12 And from the time John the Baptist began preaching until now, the Kingdom of Heaven has been forcefully advancing, and violent people are attacking it. 13 For before John came, all the prophets and the law of Moses looked forward to this present time.

— Matthew 11:12–13 (NLT)

Before John, the Law and the Prophets could only say, “He is coming.” John saw Jesus standing in front of him and could say, “There He is.” His ministry marked the moment when centuries of waiting for the Messiah ended and the kingdom He brought began advancing.

The kingdom was advancing: the blind were seeing, the lame were walking, and the poor were hearing good news. At the same time, the man God sent to announce that kingdom was in prison, and Herod would soon behead him. Yet neither prison nor death could stop what God had begun. They showed that the kingdom was being opposed—not that God’s plan had stalled.

John’s Position in Prophecy

Jesus also said:

14 And if you are willing to accept what I say, he is Elijah, the one the prophets said would come.

— Matthew 11:14 (NLT)

Jesus was not saying John was literally Elijah returned. He was saying that John fulfilled God’s promise through Malachi by coming as an Elijah-like messenger:

“Look, I am sending you the prophet Elijah before the great and dreadful day of the LORD arrives.”

— Malachi 4:5 (NLT)

The order of the promise was clear: Elijah comes first, and then the Lord arrives. If John was the promised messenger, then the One whose way he prepared was here. The waiting was over. The Messiah had arrived.

Now we can see where all three statements were leading. Jesus had been telling the crowd who John was, but the argument was never primarily about John.

John’s greatness pointed to the greatness of the One he announced. John’s pivotal place in history showed that in Jesus, centuries of waiting had ended and the kingdom had begun advancing. And if John was the promised Elijah-like messenger sent before the Lord arrived, then Jesus was the promised Lord and Messiah.

Taken together, God’s promises did more than establish who John was. They confirmed who Jesus is.

Jesus closed the section by telling the crowd what to do with that conclusion:

15 Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand!

— Matthew 11:15 (NLT)

Hearing the evidence is not the same as accepting what it reveals. Jesus would not force the crowd to believe, but He called them to listen, follow the evidence, and accept what God’s promises revealed about Him.

That is exactly what the crowd needed after hearing John’s question. John could not understand why Jesus was not fitting his expectations of what the Messiah would do. His question could have tossed the crowd around like a boat in rough water: If John is questioning whether Jesus is really the One, should we?

Jesus gave them an anchor. Their confidence no longer had to rise and fall with how certain John felt in that moment. Jesus anchored it to something far more certain and stable: what God had promised centuries before. Those promises did not explain John’s prison or remove Herod, but they kept John’s expectations from redefining Jesus.

God’s promises do the same for us. They might not explain why Jesus has not done what we expected or change the circumstances we face. But when we let God’s promises anchor us, our unmet expectations do not redefine who Jesus is or pull us away from Him.

How should we respond when Jesus doesn’t fit our expectations?

Let God’s promises confirm who He is.

Here is a practical way to do that. Name what you expected God to do. Perhaps your sentence is, “I thought He would have changed this by now.” Then ask, “What am I starting to believe about God because this still has not changed?”

Maybe your answer is: God has forgotten me. He has abandoned me. He has rejected me.

Now answer that conclusion with what God has actually promised:

“I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”

— Hebrews 13:5 (NLT)

That promise may not explain why your circumstances have not changed, but it keeps your unmet expectations from convincing you that Jesus is forgetful or unfaithful. Write the promise down. Pray it back to God. Return to it whenever the question rises again.

Let God’s Wisdom Shape Your Response to Jesus

There is an important difference between John and the unbelieving people Jesus called “this generation.” John had an honest question; the crowd had settled into refusal. John was struggling because Jesus did not fit his expectations, but he sent his question to Jesus instead of allowing his expectations to tell him who Jesus was.

The crowd did something far more dangerous. They made their expectations the standard and rejected both John and Jesus because neither came on their terms.

16 “To what can I compare this generation? It is like children playing a game in the public square. They complain to their friends, 17 ‘We played wedding songs, and you didn’t dance, so we played funeral songs, and you didn’t mourn.’ 18 For John didn’t spend his time eating and drinking, and you say, ‘He’s possessed by a demon.’ 19 The Son of Man, on the other hand, feasts and drinks, and you say, ‘He’s a glutton and a drunkard, and a friend of tax collectors and other sinners!’ But wisdom is shown to be right by its results.”

— Matthew 11:16–19 (NLT)

Jesus compared them to children who were impossible to please, and then He exposed the contradiction. John came like a funeral song—living a strict, self-denying life and calling people to repent. “Too severe!” they said.

Jesus came like a wedding song—sharing meals with sinners and announcing the joy of God’s kingdom. “Too welcoming!”

The accusations were completely opposite, but their response was always the same: “I don’t like that.”

It was not that they were difficult to please because they had high standards. They were impossible to please because they had already decided not to be pleased. No matter what God did, they would find something wrong with it to justify their rejection.

That was the real problem. It was not a lack of evidence. They had already decided what God should do and how He should do it. Their expectations stopped being hopes and became demands—demands they treated as more authoritative than God Himself.

Instead of asking, “What is God doing, and how should I respond?” they asked, “Is God doing what I think He should?”

Put bluntly, if God obeyed them, they would accept Him. When He did not, they criticized and rejected Him. Instead of submitting their expectations to God’s wisdom, they made their expectations the standard by which they judged it.

But Jesus said, “Wisdom is shown to be right by its results.” He did not argue with every accusation, change His ministry to satisfy His critics, or beg for their approval. God’s wisdom in sending both John and Jesus would be proven right by what their ministries produced.

John’s preaching brought people to repentance and prepared them for the Messiah. Jesus restored broken lives, forgave sinners, and welcomed outsiders into God’s kingdom. Ultimately, His death and resurrection would prove God’s wisdom right beyond dispute. God knew exactly what He was doing, even when His critics did not.

So let God’s wisdom—not your expectations—shape your response. When His Word confronts your sin, repent. When Jesus offers you grace, receive it. And when His timing or methods do not fit your expectations, do not automatically interpret different as wrong.

You may not understand His timing, His methods, or why He has not given you every explanation you want. But do not let your unmet expectations distort what you know about Him or convince you that He does not know what He is doing. You may be judging a work God has not finished yet.

The next time you hear yourself saying, “I don’t like that. I thought God would handle this differently,” recognize that you have reached a decision point:

Will I resist Jesus because He is not working the way I expected, or will I let God’s wisdom shape how I respond to Him?

A wisdom-shaped response refuses to judge Jesus by whether we like His approach and instead asks how we should respond to what He is doing.

If His Word confronts your sin, wisdom says, “Repent,” rather than dismissing the confrontation as too severe.

If Jesus offers you grace, wisdom says, “Receive it,” rather than dismissing Him as too welcoming.

And if you do not yet understand what His work is producing, wisdom says, “Do not judge it. He has not finished yet. Keep obeying what He has made clear.”

That is what it means to let God’s wisdom—not your expectations—shape your response to Jesus.

The Decision in Front of Us

Return to the gift we imagined at the beginning. We never opened it. That is fitting, because some of us will finish reading with circumstances still unchanged, questions still unanswered, and parts of our stories still closed to us.

But what remains unresolved does not have to tell you who Jesus is or pull you away from Him.

How should we respond when Jesus doesn’t fit our expectations?

Let His works remind you who He is.

Let God’s promises confirm who He is.

Let God’s wisdom shape your response to Jesus.

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.